Visualise Your Perfect Relationship

Dream Looking Forward

Visualising your perfect relationship plants the seeds for how your relationship will come to be.

Catching up on some reading over the Christmas break it’s clear that visualising what you want is so powerful and important.

If you’ve worked with me, you’ll know that visualising your goals and what you do want is so important to achieving success and your desired outcomes. ‘Visualisation’ and the related themes feature in my programs and the work I do in session with you.

However I want to get specific right now, about visualising your perfect relationship.

 

What does your perfect relationship look like?

Specifically, what’s it looks like? During the day, at night, on holiday and more. So you can both visualise and ‘paint pictures’ in your minds eye of what your perfect relationship looks like.

As you get very specific the image will become brighter and more vivid. Bold as can be, you can visualise it with ease.

You see it’s only when we first visualise something that we can then achieve it. It’s very rare for a ‘happy marriage’ to fall into your lap. Just as its very rare for a ‘fantastic job’ to fall into your lap. No it takes hard work, commitment, training and sacrifice to get a good job or run a successful business. So the same is true for your perfect relationship.

As a young adult I’m sure you’ve visualised your success and next steps of your career or work, perhaps subconsciously. Yet it’s that visualisation that happens first that leads you to being a doctor, professional builder, profitable farmer, skilled beautician etc.

couple sunset relationship
Visualise a romantic picnic on the hill watching the sunset over the city

Benefits of Visualising Your Perfect Relationship

Before we get into the steps of visualising for your relationship. Let’s touch base with the benefits.

  • Feel good, in the moment, as you visualise your perfect relationship.
  • Share with your partner what you ‘see’. Talk about your perfect relationship.
  • Let your imagination spur ideas for things to do together, places to see, experiences to share.
  • Start being what you visualise sooner. Why wait?
  • Add excitement and interest into your life.
  • Increase confidence in new endeavours and ‘big life change’.
  • Build resilience for difficult times. (Increase your emotional bank account)
  • Give each other the benefit of the doubt.
  • Support each other emotionally and gracefully when they need it most.

Visualise 'Scenes' of Your Perfect Relationship

If your new to visualisation, you may be wondering where to start? That’s why I’ve created the concept of visualising scenes in your relationship! It will spark the idea and your imagination will take over and do the rest.

Once you get the hang of it, you’ll soon be visualising all sorts of wonderful scenes and moments in your relationship.

Now remember, you are already visualising – it’s just that you are now doing it purposefully and consciously. Raising your awareness of your ‘Perfect Relationship’ so its at the fore front of both your minds.

Then all that’s left is to ‘make it happen’!

Ready!?

Visualise Your Perfect Relationship - On Holidays

Where?

  • At the beach
  • In the country
  • In the city
  • Somewhere remote
  • In the mountains
  • Out in nature
  • A rural oasis
  • In the rugged outback
  • Overseas

Doing?

  • Swimming
  • Relaxing
  • Dining
  • Playing a game
  • Walking
  • Talking
  • Solving problems
  • Laughing
  • Encouraging

Being?

  • Funny
  • Supportive
  • Chatty
  • Playful
  • Energetic
  • Soothing
  • Creative
  • Understanding
  • Courageous
Let your imagination create colourful possibilities

Once you get the hang of it, you’ll soon be visualising all sorts of wonderful scenes and moments in your relationship.

Visualise Your Perfect Relationship - At Home

Where?

  • In the backyard
  • In the kitchen
  • In the garden
  • In the bathroom
  • In the bedroom
  • You get the picture…

Doing?

  • Cooking / Dining
  • Watching a movie
  • Listening to music
  • Entertaining
  • Housework
  • Games
  • Talking

Being?

  • Generous
  • Supportive
  • Interested
  • Silly
  • Comforting
  • Open
  • Relaxed
  • Authentic
  • Wise
Visualise having fun together

Get the Idea?... Try these

Visualise Your Perfect Relationship - Out & About

  • While away from each other
  • At a party together
  • Dining at a restaurant
  • At a family function
  • At a workplace get together
  • At your childrens school or sporting events
couple friends
Visualise behaviour change

When Things Aren't So Great

What about when things aren’t so great? It’s during these times you have to ‘dig’ the most to be the better partner you aspire to be.

As you visualise, picture where you are, what you are doing’ how you are being, what you might say, what you might listen for, what expression you have, how you hold yourself, how you look after yourself.

Visualise making things right

Visualise Your Perfect Relationship…

  • When there’s been a loss in the family
  • When your partner is feeling down
  • When you are feeling down
  • When you’ve made a mistake
  • When your partner has messed up
  • After you’ve had an argument
  • When you disagree on something
  • While you are under pressure from work
  • When plans change

Visualise - Looking Forward

Visualise Your Perfect Relationship…

  • One year from now
  • Five years from now
  • When your partner has changed (more mature, wiser, healthier, etc)
  • When you have changed (more mature, wiser, healthier, etc)
  • When you change careers
  • When you are parents
  • When you are grand parents
  • When you are empty-nesters
  • When you go for a sea-change or tree-change
  • With new friends & social circles
  • When you are retired
couple future fun
Visualise the future - growing together

Nurturing Your Relationship Vision

Nurturing your vision is like watering the seeds you’ve planted. It takes time for things to grow. Having faith in the process and attending to the vision daily sprouts new shoots of growth.

Fertile grounds (a sound relationship) provide abundant opportunity for your relationship to blossom and bear fruit. That is – to achieve your vision. From more meaningful conversations, and happier holidays to more fulfilling roles as husband and wife.

Less Stress & Defensiveness

Visualising your perfect relationship – even during the difficult times can prime your brain with a ‘model’ to respond to.

The subconcious brain can react, “Oh I’ve ‘seen’ this before”. Your ‘natural instincts’ follow and act out the image you’ve held. Responding in a much more mature and appropriate way – the version of you, who you’re now being as a loving, caring partner.

For example.

Let’s say you have a history of poor communication with your partner. Especially when you get upset and defensive.

Instead of getting angry and defensive with your partner like you’ve done in the past, you’ve spent some quality time visualising how as a ‘better partner’ you could respond. You go through the motions of where you’d be, what you’d be doing, what you’d be saying, and how you are being.

You might visualise the need to take a break, to breathe, meditate, self soothe and de-stress.

You might visualise talking calmly with your partner on the couch in the living room. Using structured communication frameworks like the Gottman Rapport to share how you feel and what you need.

Likewise, you visualise yourself, listening and understanding your partners view point.

If your partner has also practiced visualising how they can communicate better with you – from their perspective, they can perhaps see themselves taking repsonsibility, being apologetic, seeking forgiveness and expressing their gratitude for your understanding.

Vision from Values

Why bother?

Because your values determine what you desire most, and what you focus on.

You will do what it takes to have a wonderful relationship if your values say so.

What values?

I’m talking about the key relationship values. They may include…

  • Marriage
  • Affection
  • Trust
  • Connection
  • Family
  • Intimacy
  • Acceptance
  • Unity
  • Love
  • Passion
  • Kindness
  • Peace
  • Contribution
  • Fun

 

Are these relationship values a priority for you?

Shared Values & Stronger Relationships

Knowing your shared relationship values sets the scene for what I like to call ‘vivid visualisation’. That is you are both on the same page. You know what you both want and value. Equally as important, you know what is different, and what other values and needs each other has.

Therefore your visualisation efforts are made easy by already having a canvas and palette of colours good to go!

canvas paint
Visualise with colour and courage!

It’s easy for you to ‘paint the relationship scenes’ in your mind and visualising all the details of your relationship. Because you know what makes each other tick. You have already established a strong foundation of your relationship. Based on your values.

Further to values, shared strengths in trust, commitment, and unconditional acceptance will be of great benefit.

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