Questions to Grow Your Relationship

Meaningful Relationship Conversations

This resource revolves around Life Values cards. But don’t worry if you don’t have a deck yet. You can still ask each other any of the questions below, to spark meaningful relationship conversations.

First Understand Your Shared Life Values

If you do have your Life Values deck be sure to start with your shared Life Values.

In brief, discover your top 10 personal core Life Values, then move on to creating your 20 shared Life Values between you.

Discuss why they are important to you.

Ask each other the questions on the shared Life Values Cards.

Discuss any contentious relationship Life Values and acknowledge the differences of opinion and ways in which you’ve accepted them as important relationship Life Values.

Life Values

Relationship Questions by Theme

Let’s get started with relationship questions by theme. Use the question sets below to focus in on the topics most important to you.

Use your Life Values cards to support your thinking, ideas and actions to make improvements in your relationship.

Get creative, there’s no right or wrong way here, explore, experiment, connect, talk it through and have fun!

How Will Your Loving Relationship Grow & Prosper?

Questions to help you communicate

1. What Life Values can you turn toward for better communication with your partner?

2. Thinking about the different types of communication and conversations you have. What specific Life Values will support you for…

  • Soft startup – Raising issues calmly & respectfully with your partner?
  • Reaching compromise – Accepting influence for the good of the relationship?
  • Deep conversation – Learning more about each other?
  • Active listening – Hearing beyond what is being said?
  • Having fun and laughing?
  • Turning toward each other – Supporting and comforting each other?
couples communication

So for example. Thinking about ‘Soft Startup’, you might choose Life Values of Respect, Warmth, & Careful.

soft startup life values

Another example could be… Thinking about ‘Having fun together’, you might choose Life Values of Mystery, Spontaneity & humour.

having fun life values

Get the idea?  Try it and see, I’m sure it will help you get in the groove of healthy communication!

Questions to help you connect

1. What Life Values will help you develop shared meaning. That is – What are your dreams?

2. What are your goals – Tell me about them?

3. What vision do you have for our relationship?

4. How are you going to excite me?

5. What will you surprise me with next?

6. What new idea can we actively pursue together?

couple hug night

Questions to help you build trust

1. What Life Values support trust building behaviours in your relationship?

2. What ideas do you have to strengthen trust daily?

3. What does your partner need to feel – so they can trust you?

4. What trust building activity or project could you work on to mutually build trust?

In what way is your relationship like a unique coloured rose?

Questions to help you resolve conflict

1. What Life Values support resolving conflict in your relationship?

2. What Life Values could you draw upon to help break gridlocked issues in your relationship?

3. What Life Values direct you toward conversations about the truth – What’s really going on, underneath the conflict.

4. How can your Life Values support you to make the best decisions to resolve conflict?

5. What Life Values could be motivating factors for any third parties, contributing to the conflict in your relationship?

6. What ideas can you come up with to reduce the severity of the conflict?

7. What behaviour or activity can you drop that is contributing to the conflict?

8. What Life Values would promote unity and calm in your relationship?

Questions to help you create relationship harmony

1. What small action or gesture can you take to live in alignment with your Life Values?

2. What combination of Life Values will support relationship strength and resilience?

3. What Life Values have you called upon in the past to get through a difficult time?

4. What Life Values will support positive parenting and healthy children?

5. What Life Values do you most want your children to embrace and live by? Why?

6. What unhealthy behaviours or attitudes have you identified that don’t belong in the strong relationship you desire?

7. What healthy behaviours and attitudes will you embrace to strengthen your relationship?

couple dance harmony

Questions to help you live authentically with commitment

1. What Life Values will support you breaking a bad habit for the benefit of your relationship?

2. What Life Values can you embrace to lower your guard and express yourself authentically?

3. What themes can you live by to prioritise your authentic relationship connection over anything else?

4. What burden do you need to give voice to, put down, lighten up, and move on from?

5. Who is holding you back or compromising your true identity? What can you do about this?

6. How can you support your partner to live by their Life Values?

7. Is there a suggestion you can make to your partner to you live by your Life Values?

8. What connections can you draw between your Life Values, your vision for the future, your daily actions, and the attitudes you keep?

Questions to help you with intimacy

1. What Life Value do I find most attractive in my partner?

2. In what new way can we agree to express our most intimate Life Values (usually pink themed cards)

3. What would need to be in place first, for you to feel comfortable with exploring and expressing intimacy?

4. Is there a stepping stone that could lead to intimacy or more fulfilling sex? Discuss what this could be.

5. What’s one thing you can say or do that would build trust between you?

6. What do you find naturally and authentically most sexy about your partner?


7. In what way can you let your partner know you are feeling turned on?

8. What activities, and conversations usually lead to romantic moments and sex?

9. What barrier to intimacy have you recognised as a problem?

10. What support do you need, to climb over this barrier once and for all?

11. Share a story of your favourite sexual experience together.

12. What would you say your strengths are sexually, and together as a couple?

13. Share an embarrassing moment with each other from your past. (As appropriate)

What questions do you have?

Well done! There are alot of questions there for you to go through.

Don’t rush or feel like you need to do them all. Even just one or two questions can spawn a wonderful thread of dialogue, story telling, fun and frivolity!

What questions do you have? Is there any theme you think needs to be added? Let me know by sending an email

Enjoyed this article? Then you’ll be interested in watching the Life Values for Relationship Video.

Learn to sow seeds for relationship growth with Life Values. Nurture your relationship, tend to your garden of love, and reap the rewards of a bountiful harvest!

Click watch now below.

Top tip: Do you want to save this article for later?  Click the red email button below to email it to yourself or your partner.


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