What is a Weekly Couples Catch-up?
The Gottman’s talk about something called ‘State of the Union’.
Most people from Australia won’t know what that means. But don’t worry, it’s really all about a weekly catch-up with your partner to talk about your relationship and take care of the ‘little things’ on a regular basis.
It’s a bit like a ‘family meeting’ but for your relationship.
Held regularly, there are lot’s of benefits that make having a ‘weekly couples catch-up’ a great idea.
Why You Need a Weekly Couples Catch-up
Top Benefits for your Relationship
- Top benefits include – Feeling heard by your partner.
- A chance to bring up small things, and minor worries before they are bigger issues.
- A ritual of connection
- A chance to reflect on what’s working well during the busy week.
- Feel connected, working together and feeling on the ‘same team’.
- Sharing responsibility for the growth and happiness of your relationship and family.
- Resolve potential problems / upcoming conflicts ahead of time.
- Understand how each other are feeling / coping through the week.
- Creates an opportunity to support each other and know each other’s world.
What to Talk About?
Good Communication for Smooth Sailing
- Reflect on what’s working well in your relationship and life.
- Let your partner know what you appreciate about them. Try and come up with 5 specific things.
- Raise any issues that have come up, or mention any problems on the horizon.
- Practice using soft-startup when you are talking about these things calmly. (Practice is key)
- Select one issue to talk through and resolve. Use all your communication skills and knowledge to reach a compromise, intermediate solution, etc.
Select one issue to talk through and resolve. Use all your communication skills and knowledge to reach a compromise, intermediate solution, etc.
Ask Good Questions. Listen. Small Details Matter
- Ask each other questions – what they need? How you can help?
- Confirm key details and dates for events and activities.
- Celebrate achievements and milestones.
- Touch base with your plans, shared values, goals, vision, etc.
Download the Couples Catchup Agenda
Stay on topic by using the agenda to structure your couples catch-up conversation.
Don’t worry if you go off topic. They key is to start the conversation and have your weekly catchup. Build the habit of connectng, talking, sharing and build a healthy, sustainable and loving relationship!