What is a Weekly Couples Catch-up?
The Gottman’s talk about something called ‘State of the Union’.
Most people from Australia won’t know what that means. But don’t worry, it’s really all about a weekly catch-up with your partner to talk about your relationship and take care of the ‘little things’ on a regular basis.
It’s a bit like a ‘family meeting’ but for your relationship.
Held regularly, there are lot’s of benefits that make having a ‘weekly couples catch-up’ a great idea.
Why You Need a Weekly Couples Catch-up
Top Benefits for your Relationship
- Top benefits include – Feeling heard by your partner.
- A chance to bring up small things, and minor worries before they are bigger issues.
- A ritual of connection
- A chance to reflect on what’s working well during the busy week.
- Feel connected, work together and feel like you are on the ‘same team’.
- Sharing responsibility for the growth and happiness of your relationship and family.
- Resolve potential problems / avoid upcoming conflicts ahead of time.
- Understand how each other are feeling / coping through the week.
- Creates an opportunity to support each other and know each other’s world. (Love maps)
How would experiencing the above benefits help you?
Would you feel…
What to Talk About?
Good Communication for Smooth Sailing
- Reflect on what’s working well in your relationship and life.
- Let your partner know what you appreciate about them. Try and come up with 5 specific things.
- Raise any issues that have come up, or mention any problems on the horizon.
- Practice using soft-startup when you are talking about these things calmly. (Practice is key)
- Select one issue to talk through and resolve. Use all your communication skills and knowledge to reach a compromise, intermediate solution, etc.
Select one issue to talk through and resolve. Use all your communication skills and knowledge to reach a compromise, intermediate solution, etc.
Ask Good Questions. Listen. Small Details Matter
- Ask each other questions – what they need? How can you help?
- Confirm key details and dates for events and activities.
- Celebrate achievements and milestones.
- Touch base with your plans, shared values, goals, vision, ideas etc.
Download the Couples Catchup Agenda
Stay on topic by using the 1-page agenda to structure your couples catch-up conversation.
Don’t worry if you go off topic. They key is to start the conversation and have your weekly catchup. Build the habit of connecting, talking, sharing and build a healthy, sustainable and loving relationship!