A Hug a Day for a Happy Marriage.
Do you feel happy in your marriage, or fallen into a rut?
Do you wonder why you feel distance in your relationship?
Are you wondering whether your marriage is going to survive?
My bet is that it’s the things you do on a daily basis that are impacting on the level of happiness and satisfaction in your marriage.
Do your daily habits and rituals turn you toward your spouse or create distance?
Dr John Gottman studied the habits and rituals of over 7000 couples and discovered these top five rituals to be consistent with a happy marriage.
1. Eating their meals together, without the television on.
Turn the television off and enjoy time connecting intimately over an evening meal, morning tea or even just a quick coffee. Turning off your devices, phones, computer, television ensures you’re more present and connected with your partner.
2. Spend at least 30 minutes a day together
Asking each other how they are and being fully present by listening intently. Provide opportunity for each other to talk about their current stressors, issues and feel truly heard. Couples who practice actively listening, show compassion to each other and will reap the rewards of a much deeper emotional connection.
Spending time having fun on a holiday, without the kids. Travel to somewhere you are both interested in visiting and having fun reconnecting. You may not be able to afford an expensive overseas trip, that’s ok, just a weekend away every once in a while to celebrate your relationship and deeply reconnect, talk, spend time together and have fun.
4. Have fun and enjoy some excitement together.
From a daily run, or sunset walk at the beach to kayaking, snorkeling or bush walking. Studies show couples that share exciting experiences together, bring couples closer together as well.
Sharing affection with the physical act of a kiss increases your emotional and physical intimacy. Dr Kory Floyd found physical contact releases oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and can improve our mood for days, helping you stay calm and more relaxed. This helps to reconnect with your spouse so too does, holding hands, hugging, touching and making out. Also reducing the stress hormone cortisol in the process.
Spending intentional time with your partner doing fun things together like singing in the shower or riding a bike, dancing in the kitchen can bring joy and laughter.
Dr John Gottman suggests that ‘couples commit to a magic six hours a week together, which includes rituals for saying goodbye in the morning, and returning at the end of the day. The brain loves patterns so creating these rituals will come naturally and automatically and help keep your marriage connected when life gets in the way.
What are some of your daily rituals in your marriage?