Questions For a Healthy Relationship

Author: Jacqui Hogan

Know More About Yourself and Your Partner

Ask yourself or each other these questions to strengthen your relationship and learn more about each other. Spark discussion and deeper conversations.

Take a moment to ponder your answer, and be sure to let your partner respond to the same question too.

Taking in turns to ask questions is a good idea also.

Reflect on your answers. Are their answers similar or different to yours? What’s that mean for you?

What is something new you found out about your partner?

In what way are you going to better support each other?

And finally, what Life Values are aligned or in conflict?

Questions for a Healthy Relationship

In what ways do you feel appreciated and loved by me? Are there ways I can improve in this area?
What activities or hobbies do you feel we should explore together to strengthen our connection?
Do you usually follow your head or your heart when making decisions?
What is your all time favourite book?
What does a healthy relationship look like?
What is one behaviour that you will never tolerate?
If you could write a note to your younger self what would you say in only three words?
What would you do with your life if you were suddenly awarded 100 million dollars?
Does spending time with friends and family energise you, or drain you?
What's something you're glad you'll never have to do again?
What are your top three priorities in life right now, and how can I support you in achieving them?
What are your dreams and aspirations that you'd like to share with me?
What do you think is our greatest strength as a couple?
Is there enough intimacy and connection in our relationship?
How do you feel about the quality of our intimacy and connection?
How can we prioritse intimacy and connection in our relationship?
Are there any unresolved issues or lingering resentments that we need to talk through together?
How do you think we should handle differences in our relationship?
What rituals of connection or other traditions do you feel are important for us?
What do you think are the biggest sources of stress in our lives? How can we manage them better, together?
How well do you manage your boundaries? What could you do better?
What resources do you think help us to communicate better?
In what way can I help you self-soothe after an argument or difficult time?
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Why Ask Relationship Questions?

Asking deep questions strengthens your relationship. You will learn something new about each other, and you’ll become better ‘equipped’ to resolve problems in the future and so much more.

Other ways deep conversations and growing a healthy relationship can benefit you include:

  • To raise the quality of your relationship.
  • More intimacy and connection.
  • To strengthen boundaries.
  • Relational awareness and partner preferences.
  • Work out who’s responsible for what, and be better organised.
  • Improve the standards in your relationship and home.
  • To know more about each other.
  • To resolve problems before they are an issue.
  • Find forgiveness earlier.
  • Move on from the past.
  • Practice gratitude and self-care.
  • Have more fun in your relationship.
  • & so much more!

Improve Communication in Your Relationship

Have these questions sparked discussion between you?

If you notice unresolved issues or lingering resentment in your relationship, I encourage you to learn more about the benefits of couples couneselling.

You might also be interested in learning how the Smooth Conversation Cards are great for resolving sticky & tricky problems in your relationship!

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