Why Do Conversations Get Off Track So Fast?
Do you ever sit down to talk about something important with your partner, and before you know it, voices are raised, someone’s getting defensive and your conversation goes right off track?
If this sounds familiar, keep reading, as it doesn’t have to be this way, and I have a few powerful ideas to help you.
Identify Triggers and Tricky Topics
The first simple ideas is to make a mental note of your triggers – things that ‘set you off’ or can quickly rub you the wrong way. We can deal with de-activating these triggers another day, so for now, just make a note of them, so you can tread carefully around them.
Likewise, do the same for your partner’s triggers. Find out what they are. Even if you don’t fully understand why, right now, just be aware of them, so you can approach these topics softly and carefully as you go forward.
Start Softly and Seek Clarity First
The next step is to start conversations softly, with the aim of getting clarity first.
You see, tricky or difficult conversations don’t have to turn into arguments. In fact these types of conversations can bring you closer together!
The key is in starting softly, and seeking clarity first. This means if you’re prone to ‘coming in hot’ perhaps after a heavy day at work, you need to cool your jets first!
When you focus on clarity first, it means you’re open to your partners perspective, and you leave your assumptions behind.
Let’s shift your mindset first, because if you are broiling with feelings of ill-will toward your partner before you even have a conversation – it’s not going to end well, as you’ll already be on the defensive, or be hoding beliefs about your partner or their point of view that may not be true.
Get Curious and Ask Great Questions
A great way to get clarity and understanding is of by actively listening, and getting curious by asking great questions.
And that’s exactly what Smooth Conversations are all about.
They give you a whole range of questions to ask your partner, to fulfil that curiosity and get that shared understanding – which is so important for healthy conversations and better outcomes.
So instead of finger-pointing and blame, you get closer, and develop a shared understanding. It’s those ah-ha moments, and those “I get it now” type feelings that get you on the same page from the start.
Now your on the right path to have difficult conversations without fighting.
These are just three helpful ways to help you have better communication in your relationship. To learn more I encourage you to download our free Smooth Conversations Guidebook and discover more powerful strategies and actionable ways toward healthy communication.
Ditch the Drama - Get the Smooth Conversations Guidebook
Put an end to arguments and ‘fighting to win’.
The Smooth Conversations Guidebook is packed with insights and ideas to help you and your partner have healthy conversations for a better relationship.
Developed by Couples Counsellor Jacqueline Hogan, its an actionable and practical guide you can use to transform the way you communicate ‘over night’, even if you don’t have a deck of Smooth Conversations.
