What are Affirmations?
Modern affirmations are positive statements you say or think to yourself to foster a positive belief. Popular affirmations are centered around themes like self-worth and success.
Affirmations are carefully crafted statements and are generally set in the present tense and first person.
Eg. “I am good enough…”
Affirmations are personal and specific and to be effective they are repeated or meditated upon over the course of a day or longer.
Affirmations were made popular in the 80’s by Esther Hicks of Law of Attraction fame, and Louise Hay with her popular book ‘You can Heal Your Life’.
In more recent times affirmation theory has found its way into modern psychology schools of thought such as Neuro-Lingustic Programming (NLP).
Without getting bogged down in the science and research, you can simply think of them as positive statements to reinforce a belief you want in your life.
Why do Affirmations Work?
Affirmations work in a couple of ways. Firstly by boosting your self esteem. And second, by challenging / countering negative thoughts.
Affirmations support your beliefs about your capacity or ability to make something you want to be true.
There is a famous quote by Henry Ford that is really relevant here…
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t’ – you’re right,”
This quote emphasizes how great your beliefs and attitude determine your outlook and subsequent actions.
Again, without getting bogged down in brain science (neuroscience), let’s look at a few simple concepts to help you understand how and why affirmations work.
Self Concept & Free Flowing Thoughts
Humans have a sense of self. “I”
This conscious “I” is arguably what makes us human.
Unfortunately, as humans we can be a bit delicate and can have a fragile “I”. We spend alot of time and energy protecting it.
In fact your “I” can be your own worst enemy. This is usually known as negative self talk. Where your mind talks down to you and has consistent negative things to say. Sometimes you might even believe these thoughts!
An ongoing negative thought pattern can create something called Negative Sentiment Override. Where your negative thoughts cast a cloud over everything (good or bad, true or false) in your relationship and partner.
Affirmations are one tool to help break this cycle and get the right balance back to support healthy beliefs, sound decisions and better outcomes.
Affirmations Make an Important Difference
Affirmations have the power to make a small but powerful difference in your life.
You can picture them making a 1% difference on a daily basis. Nudging the needle in a positive, helpful direction. The thing is, 1% could tip the scales to make a big difference in your day.
Take a moment to acknowledge how your mood, and outlook is influenced throughout your day.
It’s often the small things that contribute and the meaning you assign to daily ‘snippets’ that tip the scales one way or the other.
Sometimes a compounding effect can be experienced too. Where multiple ‘good or bad’ things add up to create an “excellent day” or “horrible day”.
So while affirmations can make a ‘small difference often’, they can be very powerful and make ALL the difference you need to achieve the outcome you desire.
Try it Yourself & See!
The best way for you to learn about affirmations is to try them and see for yourself. Imagine if they made more than a 1% difference?
Choose one of the three affirmations below and let it be your focus for the day. Learn more about the different ways to play below. Then check in at the end of the day and reflect on the difference it’s made… Imagine what you will accomplish with practice and time.
If neither of these three affirmations resonate with you then click here to choose another Love Spark – Relationship Affirmation from the online deck. Or come up with a statement that resonates with you and let it be your focus for the day.
Another option to see for yourself how affirmations work is for you to think back to a time when you needed a confidence boost.
Perhaps a time where you needed to get through a particular challenge. Can you remember what you said to yourself?
Maybe you can remember learning to ride a bike? Perhaps you were saying to yourself.
“Ok I’ve got this, I’m going to push off, hold my balance, look ahead and ride to the end of the driveway”.
That’s a positive affirmation!
What about doing your exams or preparing for a job interview. Do these statements ring any bells for you?
“Ok I’ve got this, I’m feeling calm, I’m clear, I’m confident, I’m ready to go, I’m feeling great, I’m smart, I’m going to going to ace this!”
Again – all positive affirmations.
Do they guarantee you’ll get an A+ or land the job? No, of course not.
But they do help you perform at your best. They help get you into the right frame of mind!
You might have experienced this in the past as ‘a state of flow’ where everything ‘clicks’.
Positive Affirmations for People with Low Self Esteem
One study suggests that affirmations work best when you have a high sense of self-esteem.
This makes sense, in that you are already primed and open to receive supportive messages and you are not under threat or in a defensive, fear based, negative mindset.
The good news however is, ‘future tense’ affirmations had a positive effect for people with low self esteem.
E.g “I will only eat healthy food next month”. and “I will nurture my relationship with love and kindness”
So if you are feeling low, or otherwise have low self esteem, try prefacing any affirmation with “I will…”
Tip: Notice how the affirmations are specific. Not general statements.
Love Spark Relationship Themes
Love Sparks are affirmations for couples. They cover specific relationship themes and I have designed each one carefully to empower couples in these important areas.
In all my years of service, I’ve never come across the ‘perfect relationship’ or the perfect person. (Have you?) So there is always room to be better and continuously improve ourselves and our relationships.
Relationship Themes
Love & Connection
- Love & Admiration
- Mindfully Grounded
- Faith & Commitment
- Healing & Forgiveness
- Gratitude & Appreciaton
Special & Unique
- Passion & Purpose
- Shared Meaning & Dreams
- Quality Communication
- Trust & Honesty
- Practical & Pro-active
Self Worth
- Compassion & Empathy
- Health & Positivity
- Acceptance & Undersatnding
- Self-worth & Confidence
- Honour & Repsonibility
What are the Benefits of Couples Affirmations?
Love Sparks continuously support improvement in the above relationship themes. The themes are all related to each other and are intertwined with your unique life journey.
Using Love Sparks with honest positive intention you can expect to experience relationship benefits including…
- Closer connection
- Better communication
- Know each others world
- Improve relationship strengths
- Improve relationship weaknesses
- Increase trust and commitment
- Be inspired to take action
- Feel grateful and content
Add Life Values for Deeper Meaning
Life Values and Love sparks are a powerful duo. Your Life Values underpin the beliefs you are fostering with Love Sparks affirmations.
Click here to learn more about Life Values.
Love Sparks – Couples Affirmations act as reminders of your values. They prompt you to evaluate and reflect exactly how you are living by your values. Especially your shared values (common relationship values)
Affirmations spark conversations and new ideas, in line with your values.
Together they help generate that feeling of “Yes! That’s a great idea! Let’s do it”.
Ultimately, they help create the outcomes and moments in life you cherish and live for. Perhaps you can recall a time when you were feeling truly content, satisfied and in bliss?
Take this moment from the classic Australian movie ‘The Castle’
Everything is just right for Darryl Kerrigan in this moment. Living and appreciating his most important values. Family, Peace, and Success.
Reflecting on the commitment and effort to achieve this moment. “How’s the serenity” is a subtle nod of gratitude and appreciation for this moment.
It’s fantastic.
The line was an immediate hit and is now embroiled in the Aussie vocabulary. And for good reason! It represents that moment we all live for and love deep down. That moment when everything is just right.
How Do I use Love Sparks Couples Affirmations?
I’ve developed six different ways to play, but you can always create your own.
Bonus - Life Values & Love Sparks Questions
As mentioned earlier, knowing your values behind any particular affirmation will add depth and significance to it’s meaning. I will explore this area in a future article. For now, I’ve posed three questions as a starting point for you to explore the relationship between your Love Sparks and Life Values.
As you browse your Love Sparks cards ask…
- “Which Life Value does this Love Spark affirmation relate to?”
- “In what way do I (we) express this Love Spark? And what value am I (we) fulfilling by this expression?
- What Life Value theme (card colour) is this Love Spark referring to? And how do I (we) express this theme?
Or Play Online Now
Free online version to sample the Love Sparks Relationship Affirmations.
