Refresh Your Communication: Speak with Intention and Kindness
In our busy lives, it’s easy to slip into habits of careless communication that can hurt your partner and damage your connection.
If you find yourself speaking in a way that causes harm or misunderstanding, now is the time to make a change.
Let’s clear out those unhelpful patterns and bring more intention and care into the way you speak.
To get communication back on track, look for hurtful or careless language, complaints, or “you” statements that blame or criticise.
These patterns or habits erode trust and affection. Spot them, and eliminate them.
Make a commitment to remove words and phrases that damage your connection and replace them with respectful, intentional communication filled with kindness.
Start by becoming more aware of your language habits. Notice when you’re tempted to say something hurtful or reactive, and pause to reflect on the impact it might have.
For example, instead of saying,
“You’re not listening to me. You never listen,”
try,
“I’m not feeling heard. Can we make time for a chat to talk some things through?”
This simple shift reduces conflict and helps build a more supportive, collaborative environment where understanding can grow.
Make it a daily practice to speak with purpose and kindness. Before you speak, ask yourself:
“Will this comment build up or tear down our relationship?”
If the answer is ‘tear down,’ – zip it.
Focus on lifting your partner up by expressing gratitude and offering encouragement. This leads us to the next step: nurturing your connection.
Nurture Your Connection: Practice Gratitude
After refreshing your communication, it’s time to nurture the positive aspects of your relationship and strengthen your connection.
A powerful way to do this is by practicing gratitude. When you focus on what you appreciate about your partner and your life together, it naturally shifts your mindset to love and positivity. Criticism fades, and this also helps with speaking kindly and intentionally, as mentioned earlier.
To start, try the simple ‘Five Things’ gratitude exercise below. Take a few moments to write down five things you’re grateful for. These can be big or small, but the key is to find fresh aspects of your life, partner, and relationship to appreciate each day.
Five Things Exercise:
- I am grateful for: _____________
- I am glad that: _______________
- I really appreciate: ____________
- I am lucky that: ______________
- I am grateful for: _____________
This exercise strengthens your connection by helping you recognise and celebrate the positive qualities and moments you share with your partner. Reflect on the qualities of your partner that you’re most grateful for and envision the wonderful things yet to come.
This practice not only boosts your own positive mindset, but also creates a healthy environment for your relationship to thrive.